


A Hole in His Chest

by Sookiestark



Series: Twelve Days of Westerosi Christmas [6]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 01:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13203270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sookiestark/pseuds/Sookiestark
Summary: What if Beric went home to Blackhaven after the first time Thoros ressurected him?





	A Hole in His Chest

**Author's Note:**

> I think Beric is a very tragic character in the books. I understand why he must be but I think of Allyria waiting for him, never knowing what happened... So this is a happyish ending for them.

When Thoros brought him back from the dead, it took him several hours to remember his name. He sat eating and pissing and drinking, half dazed, foggy. He didn’t really remember what a name was until his young squire Edric Dayne called to him, “Ser Beric.”

Lord Beric Dondarion had smiled and thought to himself that was his name. 

His life came back to him slowly like the mist from mountains in the morning. On the second day, all he could see were the memories of the Boneway and the mountain view from the parapets of Blackhaven. He wanted to smell the mountain air and taste the clean water from the rivers. Everything felt cleaner in the mountains.

By the third day he remembered more and more until he remembered Blackhaven, the tower to the library and the rookery, the stables, the kennels, the Great Hall, his sigil of purple lightning and stars. Then, he remembered Allyria waiting for him at Starfall. 

Beric was bothered that he had forgotten so much of himself, even for a short time. He couldn’t believe that he had forgotten his name, his squire, his keep, his life. He had even forgotten the feeling of being alive, the sorrow the anger, the laughter, the joy. It was as if all his memories were strange as if he was watching a play in his head of the memories. Until he came to a memory, where Allyria tied a lavender hair ribbon around his saddle bags. 

“Remember me, Beric.” she had said to him as he had ridden to King’s Landing to take part in the Tourney of the Hand. He remembered the sweetness of her. It was like when an arm falls asleep. First, it was numb and then when one started shaking it, you could feel needles as the feelings awoke. 

Never did he not want to remember her. He had a hole in his body with the skin pulled tight thinly over the purple and red hole that the Mountain’s lance broke his chest. Beric smelled pine needles and mountain rain. He remembered walking with her on the banks of the Torrentine the night they first met. He could taste the ale brewed at Blackhaven and the kidney pies made in the kitchen. 

He and Edric Dayne left the next day. Thoros threatened him and told him how he saved him his life, how he owed his life to the Lord of Light and a higher purpose. Beric did not know R'hllor, the Lord of Light. Beric had tried to do the right thing, to care for the weak and the poor and he had ended up dead on the end of a lance for it, But he did promise Allyria and the people of Blackhaven that he would come back.

He thought of her the whole way home her and the mountains. On the way home, he heard that King Robert Baratheon died.

Lord Beric went to Starfall first and married Lady Allyria in the sept there. She wore a lavender dress with silver stars. Her hair was in braids and he thought she might be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

The hole in his chest hurt when he lay her down the night they were married. 

A week later, he took the new Lady of Blackhaven home to his keep in the mountains. Lady Allyria Dondarrion

Sometimes in the morning, he would play with her hair in the foggy sunlight before the mist cleared. Allyria, her name sounded like water over rocks, sounded like the tremble of her skin under his fingers, under his mouth. Sometimes he would think on the night Thoros brought him back and remind himself he was right to come home, away from all the misery. 

When she held her pregnant stomach and asked who he would fight for Renly or Stannis, he had laughed. “I have known Renly my whole life. He will make a terrible king. And Stannis needs only to stare to frighten his enemies. Let the Baratheon brothers fight and leave the Blackhaven men and their blood in Blackhaven.”

Beric did not ride out for either and sent his cousin to lead what men wanted to go. 

Sometimes, he has an occasional nightmare about being a mostly dead thing with no memory, no regret, no identity. Only a thing burning in the night. Sometimes, he thinks of himself of a candle that was blown out and relit. No one asks the candle if it hurts to be relit or what is lost or what remains. He fears he goes mad from the burning fire he feels in his chest the burning that Thoros left behind with his cursed kiss. He is always warm now. 

However, when he wakes, Allyria is there to soothe him with her kind words and her kiss.


End file.
